Miracle
by CCherie
Summary: After PWF, Sara placed herself on a rollercoaster ride that landed her in a hospital which Grissom finally figures a few things about her and himself.


Title: Miracle  
  
Author: Cherie  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: After PWF, Sara placed herself on a rollercoaster ride that landed her in a hospital which Grissom finally figures a few things about her and himself.  
  
Spoiler: PWF  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of CSI under any circumstances.  
  
A/N: Reading so many fanfics on G/S finally kicked me into a mode to write my first one. I'm still testing the waters, and feedbacks are always welcome. Please be gentle since I'm still new at this.  
  
Many thanks to Donna for being my beta reader. And last but not least, I want to dedicate this to Moggie for encouraging me to continue to write and for being my first fan.  
  
Hope everyone has a wonderful New Year!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A week before Christmas . . .  
  
Catherine was walking down the hallway. She was going to check up with Sara on their latest case of a man who was murdered by his jealous ex- girlfriend. When she heard a crash sound coming from the Trace Lab, she immediately ran to it. Inside the room, she found Sara lying unconscious on the ground, with blood dripping from the side of her arm. She rushed over to her, shaking her shoulders, calling her at first, "Sara! Can you hear me? Sara!"  
  
When Sara did not stir, Catherine dialed Grissom's office number. Someone on the other end picked up on the second ring.  
  
"Hello?" a voice answered.  
  
"Grissom! Get down here now!" Catherine urged him. "It's Sara."  
  
Grissom grew frantic, he replied, "I'll be there." Slamming his phone to its hanger, he ran to the Trace Lab.  
  
Catherine, looking at her friend's lifeless body, "Sara, wake up!" then she quickly inspect her body. She saw no bruises, or burns or any injuries of sort except for the blood on her arm. Trying to wake her up, shaking her shoulder, "Sara, come on. You gotta wake up."  
  
Suddenly, Grissom was beside them in a matter of minutes, he held Sara's head against his chest, slapping her cheeks to wake "Sara? Sara? Honey, open your eyes."  
  
No replies.  
  
He turned to Catherine, "Call the ambulance now!" And Catherine ran to the phone, dialing 911.  
  
Grissom, with a terrified look, he put his hand against her cheeks which suddenly turned cold. He knew he was losing her. Her breathing was slow but it turned shallow and long. He rubbed her pale face, with his free hand. The colour on her face turned whitish pale.  
  
"Sara, don't do this. Don't die on me. Not now," not knowing a tear from him dropped onto her face.  
  
His mind whirled with confusion, not knowing what else to do until the ambulance came; he began to rub her clothed arms to create warmth. He hoped creating warmth would keep her from going into shock.  
  
Her body stirred and her eyes opened slowly, looking at him, she groaned, "Hey."  
  
Relieved, he gave her a small smile, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty's awake,"  
  
Weakly, tempted to fall into slumber, her eyes dropped. Trying to keep her conscious, he called to her, "Hey, hey, stay with me, Sara. Don't sleep." He became frightened that this time she might not wake up again.  
  
"So tired." she murmured to him as she snuggled closer to him, wrestling for warmth.  
  
"Sara, come on, talk to me. Don't sleep," he mumbled to her cheeks, keeping them warm with his lips, but her eyes began drifted closed.  
  
Within minutes, the ambulance came. The medics transported Sara to the hospital. Grissom stood by and watched like he was in a dream, while everything went on as if he wasn't there. They carried her away, and he wondered what had just happened.  
  
When the paramedics asked, "Who's coming with her?" Grissom immediately volunteered to go.  
  
Turning to Catherine, he said to her, "Take care of things here. Call me if you have problems."  
  
"Go. Don't worry about anything here. I'll see to everything here. Call me when you get there," Catherine assured him, trying to give him a comforting smile.  
  
Then he ran to the door to join the waiting paramedics at the front door of the lab.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
At the hospital . . .  
  
Grissom was sitting in the one of the lounge chair in the waiting room. Leaning forward, his face was hidden among his hands. He was waiting for the doctor to inform him Sara's progress. The waiting was making him anxious. His fear was growing unsteady. His mind was running through many possible outcome of Sara's condition. What if she turned for the worst? Will he still be able to tell what has embedded in his heart for so long? What was he going to say to her? He feared he would lose himself if she were gone. He could not think further than that.  
  
A pair of footsteps stood in front of him, Grissom noticed the white lab jacket. Knowing whom it was, he was afraid to hear to what the man had to say to him.  
  
"Mr. Grissom?" the man spoke.  
  
Grissom realized it was the doctor; he nodded, and replied, "Yes?"  
  
"I just want to let you know that Sara's condition is stable. However she has lost an abundant amount of weight. She is under comatose state right now. We have put her under IV to regain the weight she has lost.  
  
Grissom worried, "When will she wake up?"  
  
Dr. Morris answered, "I can't give you a precise time. It could be a day, or a week or even a month. It's very unpredictable at the moment."  
  
With that thought, Grissom's world fell apart. He was losing her in the lab and he did not even know it himself. What has he done?  
  
The doctor put a hand on Grissom's shoulder, supporting him, "She's going to get well, Mr. Grisssom. You need to have faith that she will turn around in this. I do have a question to ask. Do you know if she's been eating regularly? Because from the looks of things, she's dehydrated and looks like she had not been looking after herself properly."  
  
His head bowled, shaking he answered, "I really don't know."  
  
Wanting reassurance of her condition, frightened of the negative thought in his head, he asked the doctor, "Could I see her now?"  
  
The doctor responded, "Yes, you can see her," seeing the exhausted man in front of him, he sympathized with him. "Don't stay too long. She needs her rest."  
  
With a word of thanks, Grissom left the doctor and headed towards her room, wanting the insurance that she was all right. Heading towards her room, he paused at the door and thought to himself, What happens if she didn't want to see him when she wakes up? What was he going to do?  
  
Walking past the nurse who was heading out of her room, he saw her lying against the white. Her face was paler than the sheet covering her. Seeing her there, reminded him of how all this was his fault and how precious time was. Instead of being honest with her, he spent it by sending her away. In the end, she slowly killed herself. He moved himself next to her bedside, and held her hand, hoping that just holding her hand will save her from death.  
  
Leaning over her, he brought her hand to his lips, he then gently kissed it. He murmured to her, "Sara, I'm sorry. Sorry that I put you here. Oh god," wiping his own tears with his other hand.  
  
"What have I done to you? To us?" holding her face against his, crying for her to awake from her deep slumber. Silently, he cried for himself and for her.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A week later, on Christmas Eve . . .  
  
It was almost Christmas, music jingled in the hospital hallways. However, Sara was still in a coma, lying in the same state when she was brought in. On top of her right hand, another hand held it with hope that she will wake up soon. Beside their hands, a head laid beside it, sleeping lightly, tired from previous night watching her.  
  
Grissom had been sitting with her the whole week and nothing had changed. He had gone home to changed and checked his mail and emails once a day. Every once in awhile, Catherine came to visit them with food, not that he really cared. But if he didn't eat, Catherine would have his hide.  
  
Sighing, he yearned for Sara to wake up from her comatose state. He didn't know how much longer he could take the waiting. Listening to doctors and nurses coming in to check her status, and with no trace of progress, disappointments wore away his hopes.  
  
He felt so helpless, sitting here everyday. He wanted to be her hero that saves her from all this. How much longer will he be able to sit beside her and not be able to hear her laughter, or see her brown eyes while she gave him one of those quirky and yet beautiful smile. The unknown was tearing him into shreds. Will he have to learn to live without her?  
  
His sleepy eyes bored onto her pale features, and stroked her face gentle, and whispered brokenly, "Don't leave me behind, Sara. I don't want to discover what life without you would be like. I can't live like this. Come back to me." His voice aching to tell her that she was loved, especially by him.  
  
Sitting in the chair beside her bed, holding her hand against face, willing his strength into her hand, into her body. He finally released the tears that have waited for so long to pour. At last, he understood what it meant to lose life's most precious gift, love.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sara's dream . . .  
  
When she opened her eyes, she saw nothing but whiteness. She didn't feel any rush, no voice screaming at her, no one to worry about, and nothing. She asked herself, Where am I? Looking around, she saw herself walking on a path made of yellow bricks. At the end it, she saw a little girl wearing a white dress that knew high with a big bow tied at the top of her head. She came up to Sara and said, "Hi."  
  
Sara replied, "Hi, where are we?"  
  
"Don't you remember?" she gave her a smile  
  
Confusion on Sara's face, she last remembered Grissom calling her name, trying to wake her from her fall. Then a voice interrupted, "Yes, you remembered." Sara then looked at the girl, who gave her a cryptically smile.  
  
"What am I doing here?" Sara inquired the white girl.  
  
"You're here because you haven't decided to choose whether to take the next step or to stay behind."  
  
"The next step?"  
  
"Next step," repeating those words Sara's heart beat a little faster."Am I...dead?"  
  
"Not yet. That's why you're here," the girl confirmed as if she read Sara's mind. "It is your choice to whether to move on or go back there," pointing to an image of Grissom beside her in a hospital bed, sobbing for her.  
  
She instantly whispered, "Grissom," seeing his pain figure, crying himself to sleep. Wanting to hold him and comfort him, but she couldn't when she remembered how he was lost to her. He pulled away every time she tried to pull him out of his shell. Finally, she remembered how he declined dinner after the explosion. That was when she decided to concentrate on her work instead of him. Instead of aiming to solve her life's problems, she made a decision to solve puzzles.  
  
She looked at the girl, and remembered her chance of happiness but it was gone now. She felt like her heart was torn from her and she could not do a thing about it. That's was her last thought before she lost consciousness.  
  
"Sara," the girl held her hand, and asked. "Do you want to go back there?" Behind her, the girl pointed to an image of Grissom gone astray.  
  
A bright light ahead of her shimmered, and a door appeared. It was awaiting her decision of whether she chose to walk through it or not.  
  
Looking over her shoulder, and she knew there was nothing back there holding onto her anymore. Everyone at work was either blaming her for one thing or another, and Grissom chose to ignore. She didn't have a purpose any longer in her previous life.  
  
"No," she replied firmly, "I like to go." Taking the hand the white girl gave her, and together they started to walk towards the awaiting door at the other end.  
  
Out of the void, she heard a mourning voice calling, "Sara, don't leave me."  
  
Letting go of the girl's hand, she walked around looking for the source of that voice, crying with sorrow.  
  
Her voice softly cried out, "Grissom." She spun around looking for him, and unexpectedly saw him in the distance, bending over her lifeless form, holding her tight to his chest, lamenting his grief to her motionless form.  
  
"Sara, don't let this be too late," his hoarse voice spoke." Remember when you asked me to dinner after the explosion and I said 'No'. I would be happy to have dinner with you anytime. I know I have hurt you a great deal in the past, but I hope one day you'll trust me again. Please forgive me, Sara."  
  
Pausing for a second, his mind muddled with uneasy thoughts and finally spoke with what rested in his heart. Pulling himself together, he sighed, "I've loved you for so long."  
  
Turning back to her, disregarded to his own tears, he sobbed, "If I had told you sooner, you wouldn't be lying here; waiting for you to wake up to tell you all this. What am I supposed to do if you die, Sara?"  
  
His emotion rose, and his words almost choked him as he went on, "If you do, I'll never have the chance to tell you face to face. I want to take that chance with you."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Sara," he moaned against her face.  
  
While she lied unconscious, Sara from a distance saw a lost man, trying to redeem himself. His brows grown worried, bawling out to her to come back. Was he trying to change?  
  
Suddenly from the distance, she could hear the heart machine's beat fluctuated irregularly for a couple of seconds, and then it went completely dead.  
  
The she saw Grissom howling but didn't know what he was saying. It finally hit her, her other self had given up, or it was actually SHE who had given up.  
  
Seeing her unconscious form from the distance, Sara cried loudly. Grissom! How much pain he's going through right now? Could she go on like this? Did he deserve her dead than alive? She felt her heart torn both ways. It then stopped beating. Her own body lost its own control, she could not feel anything, touch anything, or hear anything. All of a sudden, she sensed herself being dropped to the ground. Grissom, she thought. With that, it was the last thought she remembered.  
  
She then lost all consciousness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Christmas Day . . .  
  
When her eyes slowly opened again, lights shone brightly from all directions. She blinked a couple times to adjust to the surrounding. Where was she? She felt her back against something soft and yet something heavy was weighting her right hand down. She looked down and saw a brown haired head lying on it. She recognized who it was. Grissom.  
  
From the corner of her eye, she saw a white uniformed nurse coming, giving her a large grin and whispered, "You're finally awake," trying not to wake the exhausted man beside her.  
  
Nodding to the man beside her, Sara quietly asked the blond hair nurse, "How long have I been here?"  
  
"Almost a week and he came in when you did," giving her a sympathy look.  
  
Check her vitals, the nurse looked over to Grissom's sleeping form the nurse commented, "He must really love you."  
  
Sara's eye shot up to the nurse, unable to speak. She nodded to acknowledge the nurse's words.  
  
The nurse smiled at Sara's shocked face, and patted her free hand, ensuring her, "Why don't you get some rest until the good doctor comes to check on you?"  
  
Sara gave a small smile and nodded as the nurse left. She looked down at the man in front of her, and her heart felt the content at that moment. He looked so tired. Oh, Grissom, why now? She sighed to herself. Feeling her right hand losing its feelings, she inched it away from under his face, but couldn't as she felt him tighten the hold. He rubbed his face against her hand like a little boy finding comfort in his blanket.  
  
As consciousness lifted him from his sleep, his eyelids gently opened to meet hers. Unsure of whether he was still dreaming or not, he blinked his eyes couple times. He looked again and saw Sara awake.  
  
Sara beamed at him, "Hey you. You're awake."  
  
"I should be saying that to you. You scared me, Sara," he rasped. Feeling his inside running wild, just seeing her there. He almost lost her when the life support pulse died while her life hang on the end. Eventually, the doctors used the defibrillators to save her. But she was barely living, and he had been hanging onto her while the doctor informed him that she might not have lived through the night. And holding her hand was the one thing that told him that she was still here. But she made it, and he had so much forgiveness to ask of her.  
  
"Sara," he began, "I'm sorry," but her fingers shot to his lips stopping him from saying anymore.  
  
"Don't, Grissom," her smile turned sadly.  
  
Holding her hand against his lips, kissing the tips of each finger, thanking silently for such miracle. Now, he knew what he finally had to say to her before he lost his chance to.  
  
Closing his eyes and then he looked at her again with courage, holding her hand against his chest where his heart was, he started, "I want to tell you something, Sara."  
  
She interjected him, knowing what his next words were, "You don't have to say them, Grissom. I understand."  
  
"No!" he shouted out, "I should have said them earlier and we wouldn't be in this situation." Twirling his face from her for a moment, remembering how he waited for so long to tell her this, words that he kept from her.  
  
Facing her again, bringing his face only a couple of inches from hers, he gently stroked her cheeks, he whispered, "I love you, Sara. I've loved you for so long."  
  
Absorbing his words, a tear rolled down her face, he then continued, "I know I'm not the best person with words and emotions. I can't change the past but I hope one day you will forgive me."  
  
Unsure of what he was asking, she asked, "What exactly are you asking, Grissom?"  
  
Gazing at her with pleading eyes, "I don't want to spend this Christmas alone. Spend it with me? I want to see what happens. I want to take a chance even if it might not work," repeating the words she used when she asked him to dinner.  
  
Sara still feeling scared that he was playing games with her, she asked softly, avoiding his gaze, "You know, I waited for so long to hear those words, but why now? Why after all this?"  
  
"When the doctors had to revive you, I saw how you fought for your life, and yet I stood at the side, helpless. I couldn't touch or hold you to make everything all right. That's when I finally knew, I was going to lose you..," sadly looking at her eyes filled with tears. He then continued, "Sitting here, and praying that you will wake up again, it felt like a never-ending dream. But I did a lot of thinking, and one of them was a promise to myself. I promised I would be honest with you. And that was to spend Christmas with you," taking her face between his hands, to hold her tight to his chest, wanting to know she was here.  
  
He murmured against her, "Sara, I don't want to be alone again. I don't want to feel what it was like to lose you. I want you in my life." He then pulled away to see her response.  
  
Absorbing his confession, she finally understood what her purpose of coming back was. I came back because of him. He was the reason. He was my life. He fought against his fears and overcome them to tell me all this. I will always love him for that. He has climbed every mountain to be here with me. It wouldn't be such a bad thing to try, would it?  
  
Looking over his shoulder to the window, she saw a reflection of the girl with the white dress and she smiled to herself of the memory. The girl smiled back, and Sara mouthed, Thank you. Then the visage of the young girl disappeared into air.  
  
Turning back to his frightful face, memorizing every feature on his face. Smiling, she told him, "I want to try, Grissom. Take it one day at a time and see what happens. And I would be delighted to spend Christmas with you."  
  
She then lifted a hand to his face closing the distance between them and meeting his with her lips. His jittery hand encased her hand on his face, gripping it while their kiss deepened. Her mind whirled with mixed emotion as she had fell into a trace of ecstasy. As she felt quick tiny kisses drop against the side of her face, he whispered to her ear, "Thank you, Sara."  
  
She pulled away, and giving him a funny look, "For?"  
  
He saw her smirk turned into a wide smile, a smile that he loved for so long. He smiled back, "For being my Christmas miracle." Feeling bless in his heart, he knew that this was one miracle that changed him forever and made him a better man. 


End file.
